Working Mom FTW

Stands for “For The Win” in case you’re not up to date with the current abbreviation of the hipsters. (this goes especially to the YB Queen Mother cause she’s kinda old school hahahaha) Oh Ma, hipsters are young kids that stole your “back-in-the-days” styles/trends. You can spot them anywhere and they will make you feel like you’re just took a step back in time. Nah, I don’t have anything against hipsters. I’m just feeling a little bit snarky. That is all. So please don’t shun me from of your coffeeshops. My husband loves your overpriced curated coffees. hehehe

Ok back to why this post exists. This post is not about which set of mothers are the best and which side I’m choosing (although it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?). Not a pro and con list of being a working mom either. The choice on which road to take if you ever come to this junction, is entirely up to you. This is only the reasonings of why I choose to spend my 8 hours, 5 days a week away from the little buds. This is a reminder for myself because there will be at one point or another, I’ll question my choices and the decision I made. Especially on those bad days at work being away from my baby.

Number 1 – I’m a pro-choice. I choose to pay my bills. hahaha Well I’m not sitting on a pile of gold bars that I dont need to factor my personal expenditures when it comes to making a choice of going back to work or stay with baby girl at home and be the the dear darling wife that I am expected to be. I have bills I collected even before I got married. Like my car loan and my student loan. Can’t be expecting the husband to just pick it up once we were married, can I? Eh wait.. Can I? I don’t know. I would like to see myself as a modern wife (or in Queen M’s term – the lazy wife) who won’t cook or iron. I’m  ok being that the kind of wife that balances the husband’s cheque books, make sure all insurances are paid for and files his income tax and zakat. I fusses more on good credit standing rather than a well ironed shirt. Plus he hardly wears shirts because he works with the hipsters where they wear tshirt and jeans all day errday and inhale popcorn caramel smokes anyway (he works in the advertising fyi and by smoking popcorn caramel.. I’m referring to Vaping. Gosh who are my readers here? Oh yeah… my mom. Just her.)

Numero Dos – I can’t stand being at home for too long. I had a taste of staying at home with baby girl during our confinement for two whole months and it was tough. I cried and clinged to my husband like there was no tomorrow. I coaxed him into bringing me out on a date once on the pretext of we had to go and update our passports. Yeah I went and watched the Avengers 2 in my confinement stockings and the cesarean scars was still fresh. I walked very slowwwwwwlyy though. Don’tcha worry, YB. (dah lepas… jangan marah.. janji tak buat lagi). And by third week, I was already driving around sending and picking the husband up from work. Majority of my highlights during those days at home were the fact that there’s a promise that I can go out even to do random chores. As long as I’m out.

Nombor Tiga – Encik Suami wasnt keen with the idea of me staying at home. Case and point of number 2. I went crazy and he doesn’t want me to be all up in his grill. Imagine I’ll be doing this for good? I’ll be crazy waiting for him to come home from work right on the dot. I did talk to him about the idea of me being a SAHM. His immediate response was a straight N and O. Which was kinda strange because he was raised by a SAHM and it worked out well.. ok, except his mom wasn’t a clingy wife and she has bunch of friends  and activities up to these days and I have none of those. Oh yeah. Ok, I get your point, babe.

Four – I like earning my own money and I get my high on workloads and paperwork. Imagine if I’m a SAHM with no source of constant income except from the husband and an occasional freelance gigs. I wouldn’t be able to keep a car of my own which will bring us back to number 2 (again!). I want to be able to shop and spend money (whenever I have any left after the bill mountain is all sorted out at every end of the month) the way I want it with no question asked because it’s mine. I also acknowledge juggling stuff at home is way harder than at work. A lot more tiring too and it keeps on going. Stuff at the office are seasonal and you can see the ending to every project no matter how hard it is. So the choice is pretty much sets on stone with this one.

Ke lima – I was raised by a working mom herself. Although she did it way better. Did all the cooking, cleaning and the whole nine yard while climbing up the corporate ladder with little to no help at all. At one point in my life, she was away the entire 8 years, working overseas all on her own. Tough woman, I tell you. So it’s the same example that I want to set for baby girl and her future siblings. I want her to be able to see that I am an independent woman and I have my own free will to be anything I want and I can still be a mother to her.

So why can’t I excel at work and still be a good mother? I know it’s going to be hard (whichever road I chose to take). But (in my mind) at least with working and a good few hours spent outside being my own person will keep my sanity at bay. That way, everyone will be happy. This doesn’t mean I don’t love and miss my baby. I miss her terribly, every second that I’m away from her. I’m always on #workingmomsguilt. Why do you think I’m still breastfeeding my 16 month old tods and still pumping at work? My breast-pump (which by the way is a single electric pump from Avent) is what I can safe to claim as my best friend for now. I have been using it religiously for the past 16 months and i don’t know if I’m stopping any time soon. Yes! Breast pumping feels like a religion right now! Uggghhh The devotion it took me! I’m not even kidding.Screen Shot 1Screen Shot 2Screen Shot 3

So, Bahijah. When one of those mornings came and you find yourself looking at that angelic face sleeping beside you and you began to wonder if it’s a good idea to quit and just stay at home and be the mother that bakes shits, just remember this….

You’re bad at baking. Get up and go to work!

And to the other mothers… no matter if you’re a SAHM, WAHM, FTWM or whatever other acronym hell they tend to label us with as moms, it’s gonna be tough and it’s gonna be for a very long time. So, Good luck!

Introducing Baby M

Hi! Here’s a picture of her taken when she was just out from my beautiful round tummy. I think this was taken a day after her delivery.


She just turned 7 month last week and it has been an amazing 7 months of a roller coaster ride. They said time flies when you have a baby. Oh well.. for me, it freezes at times, and when it does move, it moves at a super slow pace but it also flies so fast, it almost matches the super light speed. One day it can get from this – “Ahhh baby.. why aren’t you walking yet? Mommy’s tired from carrying you too long. When will you be walking? 1 more year? This means I need to carry you for another one more year?” to “Wahh why are you so heavy now? It only feels like yesterday you were just so tiny and weight of a pea!”  catching yourself wondering where the time goes. And then it went to “Your baby can army crawl from the TV area to the sofa in no time, you better keep your eyes on her when she’s in bed with you” The Queen M told me when I got home from work. Woahhh baby, stop with the growing up when Mommy’s at work, please. Let’s do it when I’m at home, Kapish?

So you get what I’m sayin’? No? It’s cool if you don’t get it and I’m not even exaggerating here.

During the first few days when we brought her home, we were in for a very long night of trying to understand one another. It was different from those nights in the hospital. There, I have an army of nurses to help me out. At home, when the lights were off, it was just me and the new daddy against the tiny bundle. Elated but scared shitless we might screw this one up. We’re talking about a breathing, tiny human here. Gosh.. We were all over the place. We didn’t know what to do with a crying baby at 3 freaking AM. Obviously I can’t go knocking down my parents’ door anymore since we’re the parents ourselves (but I did once knocked at my mom’s door, crying when Baby girl had her first fever. Her temperature shoots up to 38.8degrees celsius at 2AM and I was in panic mode. Beep. Beeeeeep. New mom alert). Yupe, we’re in this alone.

Anyway, the baby and I were still in the get-to-know basis during the first week we’re home and we’ve yet to establish a proper and most comfortable way of the breast to mouth system. Worst because I had Caesarean. So it was kinda hard to come up with the supply base on her demand without triggering any pain since it was hard for me to shift from one position to another. She had no problem latching though. Sucked with a champion (still do). But I was very adamant to breastfeed her. So most nights, after I feed her (or trying to) I’ll pump for keeps. In the morning, as soon as my mom woke up, I’ll pass the baby and the expressed milk to her and go get my much needed sleep. Lucky, my mom was very understanding and more than willing to take her off my hands for a few hours. That arrangement saved my sanity and kept my sleep deprivation down to a minimum throughout my confinement period. Thank you, mama. Sorry for the many tantrums for the past 31 years. *puppy eyes*

7 months down that long winding road of diaper change, pukes, loud cries and giggles, baby girl still breastfeeds exclusively. Yay! I’ve passed my first breastfeeding milestone. This is us at 7 month old.


Yes, I’m a 7 month old too. 7 month old mother. Duh.

Art on a tee

I had this post on hold for more than a week (no, 2 weeks) and I just couldn’t bring myself to blog a proper entry. Blogging and writing are not something that come naturally for me and I’m OK with it. I have come to accept that I am far better at complaining about my days to the Dear Darling (he showers me with hugs and foods after) rather than sitting on my ass (that is currently and steadily growing at a very alarming rate) trying to conjure up some sort of a magical super power in producing awesome readable contents regularly. I have also accepted that it’s OK if I don’t lay out all my milestones and thoughts out in the open. Because… (fun fact!) I’m not that interesting to begin with. (Me..humble? Pfftt Oh please. I’m awesome but I’m a realist)

But this time, it’s different. It needs a shout out. It needs a big hurrah. Why? Because I’m super proud of it. I’m super excited about the idea of it and the thought of not sharing it just wont cut it for me. And because it deserves all the marketing mileage it can get and I’m almost 2 months wayyyyy too late. Lets just forget about the fact that blogging about this on my very quiet blog wont makes much difference for its online presence.

So, let me introduce you to Arttee Apparels.

Arttee_FINAL_LOGOWe had the idea for quite some time. He (and by he, I mean the Dear Darling) had the idea and I’m just the enabler. Of course when I said I’m enabling this dream of his means that I let him do this full time by making this transition easy (right,hun?) and without throwing a fit knowing that we need to cut back on our expenses until the business really takes off to a height where I can comfortably start requesting for ridiculous shoes and handbags again.  (Psstt Baby, I really really want this Ju.Ju.Be’s diaper bag, pleaseee)


So we set off with this idea of promoting struggling, independent artists (much like I am) on a platform that we know everyone can be comfortable with. So we chose T-shirts. Because what better way to show your appreciation to an artist’s work than wearing it? There are many actually. This is one of the economical and affordable ways to do it without you considering a career path in bank robbing or selling your precious kidney to the blackmarket. The concept is pretty much like Threadless and DesignByHumans in the United State, but we decided to forego the voting system and put our trust in hired professionals to be the judges for the submitted designs before we printed them for sales. We believe that this way, every artist/designer will get a fair chance on getting his/her artwork printed provided the final artwork is good.

Arttee Apparels went online on the first September of 2014 for the first time and within 3 weeks since the kick off, its facebook page has already gained more than 10,000 supporters. It is such an amazing feeling seeing the number goes up and the phone notification beeps non-stop. I never had that, so excuse me for being a little over the moon. I was amazed by how well people accepted our idea and believe in our cause. Prior to the website being launched, we had to approached our designer friends to contribute some artworks and even I contributed some. But now, artworks keep coming in from as far as Russia and Colombia!! (Yeah.. I have to put exclamation marks to that statement because I’m still in awe)

With the amount of supports and blessings we got from family, friends, new acquaintances, local art groups and publications from local and international alike, I’m hopeful that this going to work out just fine. Well, it better be!

Anyway, to record this promising venture, we started a blog about what’s going on with our little start-up <here>.

So.. please buy my artwork because I’ll get commission on every t-shirt sold and I don’t know about you, I could use the money for that Ju.Ju.Be’s BFF diaper bag in case the Hubster decides to ignore my request. I go by Queen Bee and here’s my first artwork that got printed. Yeah! Even I had to go through the judging process. No favoritism, he said. Pfft.


10441162_226741977534764_6086404199925076053_nCalled this one “Pooh” (again.. very bad with the naming game) because it looks like a bear stucked in a honey jar and it reminds me of the famous childhood’s character I grew up with. No points in guessing who the character is, Sherlock.

Love List #1


Inspired by this Singaporean blogger Fazabdulgaffa and her love lists.
Here is my love list numero uno.

The new environment – I haven’t been talking about it but those who are close to me knew I jumped ship about 4 months ago and couldn’t be more happier with this new arrangement than I was before. I love how the environment is far more relax and flexible. The people here are more open and trustful, which in return, makes me to want to excel more in what I’m doing. Job scopes are pretty much the same and best yet… no more punch card to deal with. That little machine has been driving me crazy for the past couple of years and thank God, I no longer need to deal with that piece of old technology. Amen.

– A Sketch A Day Project – Kicked off late last year in the new office. Job brief was low at that time since it was the holiday seasons, so I picked a pencil and paper to pass the time. Soon I started doing it regularly and loving every minute of it too. Good thing that I made a project out of it so I could feed this space with the record of my drawings.

– The Husband – It’s obvious, he is the reasons for almost everything and I’m thankful for him. I don’t know what I did to have him by my side, but must have been something right for once. So thank you, God. I’m blessed. Alhamdulillah.

– The Van Gogh’s  Pencil Kit – 

The elder brother bought it for my 28th birthday in Amsterdam from the Van Gogh Museum and it has been with me everyday. My must-have toolbox.  Here is a closer look of how the pencil kit looks like.

– Adobe Illustrator CS6 –  Ok, this is geeky but I dont know what else to put on my love list right now and I just want to start one. I really love playing around with Adobe Illustrator more than the Photoshop and all my digital artworks are Illustrator based (like this one). I find that the new features for CS6 is awesome (Check out the video), hence why it falls into this love list.

That is it… for now. I’ll find better love list next time. Pinky promise.

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